Imprisonment

What is this troubled anger that belittles and scorns who I love?
Years of imprisonment under the same regime
I can't help but feel the way I do
A part of me wants to change this anger, and turn it to blissful joy, but no matter how much my soul tries, its pieces are torn and broken at a faster rate than they are repaired.
What is love, but pain and anguish between moments of joy?
What is this gravitating feeling towards other humans?

Its a continuous knot on my chest, some kind of emotional tumor that stopped its growth, but nonetheless still resides within my soul and shapes my empty surroundings.
I've lost my way between moments of piercing pain and petrifying pandemonium of tumultuous experiences.

The vast land of life has been sedimented with years of misery, forced happiness, and failed attempts at a new sunrise.

What does one do when they've lost the will to live?
Its a selfish thing to leave this dimension, you see...
So onwards I go walking into the abyss of the future, empty, exhausted and living a delusion of an imaginary world that will help me cope with this dreadful existence and underlying sadness above all.